I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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