Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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