did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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