I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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