she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
