Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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