something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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