Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
