do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
