wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
