I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
