life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
