This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
