I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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