She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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