Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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