I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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