Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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