yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you never un-have a 4some
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
