you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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