I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I party with great urgency now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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