you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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