My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
