Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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