I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
