If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
