so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
