Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My vagina just recognized that song.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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