Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
