he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
