yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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