saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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