I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How does one acquire holy water?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
