what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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