so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
its liver damage thursday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
