and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
