well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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