Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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