I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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