I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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