Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
