there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
