Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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