i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So many bounce houses so little time
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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