Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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