No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
