i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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