the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dick very happy bro
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