hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize