you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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