Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize