So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
