Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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