The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
