She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
