my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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