he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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