Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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