so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
