There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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