Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We left the knife in your bed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
