Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
