32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
