I just threw up on my dentist
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
