Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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