My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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