I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
