its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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