my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
