i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
