that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
